help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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