no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
