We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
