Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
