They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize