He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
