i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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