Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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