She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
