Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
