I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
