I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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