I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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