I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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