So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize