i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
