12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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