go do what you do best...puke behind churches
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You took a bar mat shot.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
