There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
