I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize