I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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