I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
