Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
