Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
