I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
