Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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