Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
