Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize