somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How does one acquire holy water?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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