Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
