i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
