@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize