I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
