i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
