I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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