it was like eating out sand paper
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
