Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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