Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Still dying that you shit outside
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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