So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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