Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
