Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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