Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
