this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
