There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
