Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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