Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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