i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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