she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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