No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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