So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize