I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
