Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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