seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
