I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize