I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
