Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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