What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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