Barsexuality is the new black.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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