i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my being single is dangerous.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
