if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
