She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You just made me feel so damn special
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
