the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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