You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
