I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
