You're completely useless in the revolution.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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