Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she told me i tasted like america
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
