I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My ass is underappreciated
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
