i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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