I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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